Being away from home has never really caused me any problems. Aside from the odd fuss when I was younger, homesickness isn't an issue for me.
In the lead up to me moving to university, lots of people were asking me if I'd miss home and how often I would come back for the weekend. No one believed me when I said I'd be fine, saying it would hit me once I'd left. Admittedly, I did feel a little upset when my family eventually left me in my student halls with a bunch of strangers I was about to live with for a year, but any emotion soon vanished when I started getting ready for our first night out. There were times when I struggled with uncertainties about making friends, but time proved I was worried over nothing and now I have a wonderful group of girls that I love being with.
The only time I went home during my first year at university was for the holidays. Even during the two weeks my course had off for 'reading week', I opted to stay while every single one of my friends headed home. I just love the independence of being at uni, I love being in a city and I love being surrounded by friends. One of the worst things about being at home is that my closest friend is at least 15 minute walk away, and every fun thing to do requires some form of transportation. I know that it could be worse, but going from having your best friend living three rooms away from you makes any distance seem like miles.
Then I decided to come to New York to study for four whole months. While homesickness wasn't a huge concern of mine, anyone who knows me knows I seriously suffer with FOMO (fear of missing out). When I moved to university this wasn't an issue. If anything, staying at home would've caused my FOMO to flair up even more seeing all my friends move to uni and start new lives while I continued doing the same thing. However this situation was different. My friends weren't going anywhere, but I was. They'd continue leading the life I enjoyed so much being a part of, just without me, and this is what I've struggled with.
Everyone thinks I'm crazy. 'But you're in New York!' they say. Yes, New York is amazing and this opportunity is amazing and I am so grateful for those who got me here. But what people don't seem to realise is that you could be anywhere in the world, but if your best friends aren't there to share it with you, you can't help but want to be wherever they are. Even if it is little Nottingham.
One of the toughest things about coming here was being thrown in to a very unfamiliar situation with five strangers. Moving to New York wasn't the same as moving to Nottingham. Everyone there was in the same boat. Here, us Brits are sailing on our own (excuse the pun). What if we didn't get along? It's not like at university at home where if you don't like your flatmates you can just make friends off your course or with the flat next door. To everyone else at FIT, this is where they're going to spend the next four years of their lives. For us, it's just four months. Of course, that's not to say I don't want to make friends with the students here, but knowing they're going to be in a completely different continent to me after Christmas makes me think my efforts would be wasted, putting even more pressure on my shoulders to bond with the girls I came with. Thankfully they've all proved to be super lovely!
A lot of my concerns stemmed from the fear of not making friends and missing out on what was going on at home. I thought I would share with you all three things that made everything a little easier for me.
1. KEEP YOURSELF BUSY
I felt my worst when I wasn't doing much, or I was doing something away from the girls. My FOMO would kick in and convince me they were all rapidly becoming best friends in my absence and I was completely missing out. Being on your own also gives you more time to worry over what your friends are doing at home. I felt much better after my jam packed weekend which you can read about here, because I was having too much fun to worry about anything else. Keeping yourself busy can seriously get rid of a lot of anxieties.
2. EVERYONE IS IN THE SAME BOAT
Anything you're worrying about, another person probably is too. In situations like this it's helpful to remember that you're all in the same position. Just chat to other people about it. I wasn't aware that a lot of the girls felt the exact same way as I did, but now I feel so much better knowing that I'm not on my own. It is difficult doing something as daunting as this with people you have only just met. Coming from a close knit group of friends, it's hard suddenly not having the same level of comfort and support that only comes with long term friendships. But everyone is away from their friends, so they'll probably be very happy to make some new ones.
3. FACETIME YOUR FRIENDS
I thought that this might make me feel worse. What if they had been doing amazing things while I wasn't there? In reality, it just reassured me that things probably aren't as spectacular as they appear to be on social media, and they're having just as many down days as I might be. It also helps having someone you feel comfortable with to chat to about all these things. My friends were great at reassuring me that I was doing the right thing, and anything I felt like I'd missed out on we could just do again once I got back.
A lot of people stress that you need to enjoy yourself because time will fly by, abut this only adds to the pressure. I feel like I HAVE to be enjoying myself at ALL times just because I'm in New York. This goes the same for university. I always felt guilty for having down days because apparently these are 'the best years of my life' and if I'm not enjoying myself all the time then it's a waste of an experience. But having down days and learning to deal with them only adds to the experience and makes you come out of it a more matured person than when you started.
Aderyn x
A lot of my concerns stemmed from the fear of not making friends and missing out on what was going on at home. I thought I would share with you all three things that made everything a little easier for me.
1. KEEP YOURSELF BUSY
I felt my worst when I wasn't doing much, or I was doing something away from the girls. My FOMO would kick in and convince me they were all rapidly becoming best friends in my absence and I was completely missing out. Being on your own also gives you more time to worry over what your friends are doing at home. I felt much better after my jam packed weekend which you can read about here, because I was having too much fun to worry about anything else. Keeping yourself busy can seriously get rid of a lot of anxieties.
2. EVERYONE IS IN THE SAME BOAT
Anything you're worrying about, another person probably is too. In situations like this it's helpful to remember that you're all in the same position. Just chat to other people about it. I wasn't aware that a lot of the girls felt the exact same way as I did, but now I feel so much better knowing that I'm not on my own. It is difficult doing something as daunting as this with people you have only just met. Coming from a close knit group of friends, it's hard suddenly not having the same level of comfort and support that only comes with long term friendships. But everyone is away from their friends, so they'll probably be very happy to make some new ones.
3. FACETIME YOUR FRIENDS
I thought that this might make me feel worse. What if they had been doing amazing things while I wasn't there? In reality, it just reassured me that things probably aren't as spectacular as they appear to be on social media, and they're having just as many down days as I might be. It also helps having someone you feel comfortable with to chat to about all these things. My friends were great at reassuring me that I was doing the right thing, and anything I felt like I'd missed out on we could just do again once I got back.
A lot of people stress that you need to enjoy yourself because time will fly by, abut this only adds to the pressure. I feel like I HAVE to be enjoying myself at ALL times just because I'm in New York. This goes the same for university. I always felt guilty for having down days because apparently these are 'the best years of my life' and if I'm not enjoying myself all the time then it's a waste of an experience. But having down days and learning to deal with them only adds to the experience and makes you come out of it a more matured person than when you started.
Aderyn x
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